Free from prejudice and become a good parent
How our beliefs prevent us from being good parents? What are the features of thinking everything complicated, and which can help us make children happy? School psychologist Jessica Keler in understandable words tells about complex phenomena and helps to see the path of changes for the better. “The real revolution of our time was the emergence of social media and the continuous stream of information. And although light access to it is an indisputable advantage, it is it that complicates cognitive processes, especially in the field of parenthood, ”says school psychologist Jessica Keler. How to understand which way of education is the best if they contradict each other? Is it right to be a “tigress” mother? Is it bad to control and patronize the child? Was it at home after the birth of the baby or go to work? There are no and cannot have simple answers to these questions. Most of them require very personal, individual solutions. And, accepting them, we risk being trapped in our own prejudices and attitudes. The cognitive dissonance If necessary, to digest conflicting information, the brain faces difficulties. Beliefs are subject to significant transformation if they conflict with our behavior or the world around. This topic was devoted to the study of the American psychologist Leon Festinger, who had a significant impact on the professional community and near -psychological circles. It was he who first spoke about cognitive dissonance – the process of changing the beliefs of a person under the influence of his behavior or environment. A classic example of this phenomenon can be seen in the fable of Aesop (in Russian literature – in the arrangement and. A. Krylova) “Fox and grapes”: the fox wants to get to delicious berries, but the vine is too high. After unsuccessful attempts to get grapes, the fox decides that he does not want him, because he is green and unwatted. It is easy to get into such a trap and parents. For example, some mothers choose a career, while others want to sit at home with a child. Depending on which of these groups a woman belongs to, she is ready to consider the opposite position “green grapes” and with the battle to defend the “correctness” of the situation in which, perhaps, by virtue of circumstances. The position “I can’t imagine how it is to raise a child and work! I Si le voyage est long, et que vous voulez prendre tout avec vous et tout de suite – de manière à ce que ce soit et ce qui est beau, et de manière fonctionnelle et romantique – puis attrapez la partie “Geishe Secrets” de Shunga. Il comprend de l’huile pour massage érotique, huile passionnante, gel de bain, crème passionnante pour femmes avec levitra generique de cerise, poudre sucrée pour une odeur de fraise et une bonne pinceau. Tout ce dont vous avez besoin pour le sexe tantrique délicat. would never do so!»Classes with the approach“ I would never sit all day with children – this is too boring!”. Cognitive dissonance is a powerful force that affects mental processes. We change our beliefs in order to eliminate the inconsistencies between our thoughts, behavior and the world around us. And this cognitive distortion can affect our ability to clearly see solution options in matters of raising children. Confirmation of our prejudices All of us tend to look for confirmation of the correctness of our own attitudes and opinions, as well as facts that speak of the “incorrectness” of opposite. Take, for example, a policy: if we have formed a firm opinion regarding some problem or candidate, then when searching for information we will choose what confirms our position. The same mechanism works when solving simpler problems. Our tendency to find confirmation of our prejudices only at first glance seems harmless. Over time, this may begin to harm. For example, if we are convinced that being strict correctly, we can look (and find) on the Internet answers to requests such as “why strict parents grow up beautiful children” or read only resources that promote severity in the education system. This happens everywhere with everyone, so it is so important to take a step back and think about the consequences. If you look more global, then a society in which everyone finds only confirmation of their own beliefs will become too polarized. The resistance of prejudices What happens after our position is fully formed and we are faced with the facts that refute it? Does our opinion change in accordance with new information? Jessica Keler is sure that no. Usually we continue to adhere to our beliefs, despite confirmation of their failure. According to the results of the study, even meeting with unambiguous evidence of the falsity of our ideas and concepts, we still remain faithful to them. The resistance of beliefs is the phenomenon of the human psyche and a problem that penetrates deeply into the sphere of parenthood. For example, the mother believes that for proper socialization, the child should go to kindergarten in two years. Even if she reads about a study proving the falsity of such an idea, she does not want to change her system of beliefs. Analyze this As reasonable consumers of information, we are able to change something if we analyze our own thought process. Do we always read the same resources about raising children? Whether we exchange information exclusively in those groups where they adhere to the same position? Are they ready to doubt the correctness of their beliefs – even the most durable? “If in each of us there are at least slight changes towards reflection on our own thoughts and behavior, this can become the beginning of great changes in our common world,” concludes Jessica Keler.
